The Lowest-Ranked Hero Has Returned
“......”
“......”
A suffocating silence settled over the concept café “Heaven’s Door,” located in Valhalla City.
Julien—no, Juliet—who had locked eyes with me, froze stiffly, his lips still holding a gentle smile.
“Huh? What’s wrong, Dale?”
Albert blinked in confusion and looked around at the sudden silence.
“Uh, well....”
“Ah, hello, Masters! Have you decided on your order?”
Juliet, still wearing that radiant smile, held out the menu.
“...You.”
“Oh my~? Is something bothering you, Master?”
“......”
Turning his head so that only I could see, Juliet mouthed the words, “Don’t say anything.”
“...Nothing.”
I sighed and rubbed my aching forehead.
“Umm... M-Miss Julien!”
“Yes~ Master Albert?”
“Ehehe. Y-You look beautiful today as always.”
“Oh my, really~? Aww, you’re making me blush~♡”
“Ugh.”
“Huh? What’s wrong?”
“Ah, n-no. It’s nothing.”
Endure.
I have to endure it.
I must, for the sake of protecting Albert’s innocent heart...
...Wait a second.
‘Didn’t they say Heaven’s Door was a cross-dressing café?’
No way.
If that’s the case, then all the employees here are...
Damn it.
No wonder something had felt off since earlier.
“Two omelet rices and two orange juices, please.”
“Yes~ Masters! Please wait just a moment!”
Juliet winked playfully as she responded with a practiced hospitality line.
“Ehehe.”
Albert beamed like he was melting into a puddle while watching Juliet’s retreating figure.
The starry-eyed way he looked at her made it clear—he had completely fallen for Juliet... or rather, Julien.
“Hey... Albert.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“You... do know where we are, right?”
“What do you mean? Oh, that’s right, it’s your first time at a concept café, isn’t it, Dale? Haha. I guess it might be a bit overwhelming at first.”
“No, that’s not what I meant—”
“Hehe. Actually, it’s my first time at a place like this too.”
Albert scratched his head sheepishly.
“I just stopped in for a coffee by chance... but the place was so charming, and more than anything...”
Glance.
Albert sneaked a look back at Julien and swallowed nervously.
“W-When I saw Miss Julien... I fell for her at first sight.”
“......”
Judging by his dazed reaction, Albert clearly had no idea this was a cross-dressing café.
‘Well, I guess it’s an easy mistake to make...’
I had no clue where they’d gathered such talent(?), but honestly, if you didn’t know it was a cross-dressing café, the employees really did look like regular women.
If I hadn’t seen Julien in drag before, I probably wouldn’t have recognized him either.
‘It doesn’t seem like an ordinary disguise.’
Looks aside, even his voice sounded exactly like a woman’s—it had to be a professional magical disguise tool, like the one Yurina uses.
‘That stuff isn’t cheap enough for regular folks to afford.’
Even top-tier heroes have trouble affording those kinds of magical tools, so how the hell did—
“Tada! Heaven’s Door’s pride and joy—our Angel’s Omelet Rice~!”
“......”
Come to think of it, Julien is the heir to some wealthy family, isn’t he?
‘Just how serious is he about cross-dressing...?’
My head throbbed.
“Now, I’ll write Master Albert’s name in ketchup♡”
“U-Uh, thanks.”
“Hehe. By the way, it’s rare to see you here with a friend!”
“...He’s here for some advice.”
“Advice? Are you troubled about something? If so, you can always talk to Julien~.”
“N-No!”
Albert shook his head in a panic, his face blushing bright red like a ripe apple.
Fuck.
What am I even witnessing right now?
“Umm... M-Master Dale, would you like your name written too?”
“No, I—”
“Huh? How does Julien know your name, Dale?”
Sh**—!
“Ah, I heard Master Albert call you ‘Dale’ earlier!”
“Huh? Did I?”
“Of course!”
Juliet giggled as he turned around.
“Well then, I’ll be heading to the kitchen for a moment!”
“Ah...”
Albert let out a disappointed sigh as Juliet hurried away as if fleeing the scene.
Staring blankly at his retreating figure, Albert slowly turned to look at me.
“S-So, what do you think, Dale?”
“...About what?”
“Ahem. I mean Miss Julien. Isn’t she super pretty?”
“Uh... yeah. Sure, she’s pretty.”
“Ah! D-Don’t tell me... are you interested in Miss Julien too...?”
“No.”
Absolutely.
‘Absolutely not.’
“Hehe. Really? I figured. I mean, you’re always surrounded by other pretty girls... Ah, but to me, Miss Julien is the prettiest!”
“Uh, yeah.”
Good for you.
“So, Dale... how do you think I should confess to Miss Julien?”
“...Confess?”
“Y-Yeah! Normally I’d be way too scared to even think about confessing... but this time it’s different.”
Albert looked me straight in the eyes and smiled softly.
“It’s all thanks to you, Dale.”
“Excuse me?”
Thanks to me?
What did I even do...
“Remember? During finals, you told me—even someone like me, timid and scared, could still have a role to play.”
No.
No way.
I mean, that’s not... I didn’t mean it like that...
“Thank you, Dale. Thanks to you, I was able to learn ‘courage.’”
“......”
“Haha. I called you to get some advice... but now that I think about it, this isn’t the time to be asking for advice.”
Albert smiled faintly and clenched his fist tightly.
“I don’t need advice, Dale.”
No.
I think you do.
“I’ll try to express my feelings to Julien... with my own strength.”
Wanna rethink that?
“Hehe. If things go well and I end up, um, having a child with Julien... what should we name them?”
That’s probably not gonna happen.
Biologically speaking.
“W-Was that too much? Ahem! Anyway, Julien looks really busy today, so I’ll confess another time!”
“Uh... yeah, okay.”
If you’re happy... then that’s enough.
“Good luck, Albert.”
May flo— flowers bloom along your path.
After parting ways with Albert, I headed straight back to the dorm.
I considered stopping by the party house to see the team’s faces for a bit, but after what I’d just seen, I was too shaken.
All I wanted was to get back to my room and rest as soon as possible.
Creak.
The door opened before I even touched the knob.
“Huh?”
Did I forget to lock it?
I tilted my head curiously and stepped inside.
“Oh, you’re back, Mr. Dale.”
“We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Ugh... Dale... you’re so mean.”
Three of my lovers welcomed (?) me from inside the room.
“...What’s going on?”
I flinched, glancing at Iris, Yurina, and Lanez.
“Where did you go?”
“Huh? I-I was just... in Valhalla City with Albert for a bit...”
“So where exactly in Valhalla City?”
Iris approached with a smile playing on her lips.
“......”
Okay, something’s definitely off about this atmosphere...
“Dale, the café you went to with Albert... was it ‘Heaven’s Door’?”
“Don’t even think about denying it. We already know everything.”
“...How?”
“I happened to run into Albert this morning and had a little chat.”
“......”
Albert, you bastard...!
“Dale... are we not enough for you?”
“No, that’s not what I—”
“You’re so mean.”
Lanez pouted and wiggled her lips like she was trying to hold back a smile.
“...Huh?”
Wait a sec.
She wiggled her lips?
“If it’s Heaven’s Door... isn’t that the café where the staff are cross-dressing men?”
“Uh... yeah, it is...”
“Then can we take that as a sign you’re at least interested in cross-dressing?”
“...What?”
What kind of messed-up logic is that?
“With that in mind, we prepared something like this... What do you think? Interested?”
Iris pulled out a cute frilly waitress outfit with a mischievous smile.
“...Wait a minute.”
Don’t tell me... they expect me to wear that?
“If you wear this for us~ we might just forgive you for sneaking off without saying a word today~.”
“......”
As soon as those terrifying words came out of Iris’s mouth, I whipped my head toward Yurina and Lanez.
“Pfft... ahahaha!”
“D-Dale! You’ll wear it for us, right?!”
Yurina burst out laughing, unable to hold it back, while Lanez sparkled with excitement and bounced in place.
‘These little...’
So this was their goal all along—using my visit to the concept café as an excuse to make me cross-dress.
‘No wonder they were all smirking earlier...’
They were planning this from the start.
“No.”
“Aww~ Just once, Dale! Please? Just one time?”
“I said no!”
“Dale... after sneaking off to that kind of café, you won’t even do this one little thing for us?”
“What does going to a concept café have to do with this?!”
“You’re so cruel!”
“Yeah! So mean! Just wear it once!”
Criticism and complaints poured in from every direction.
“D-Dale! Just once! Please?!”
“I said no!”
“Why not~! We even wear clothes you like sometimes as special events!”
“How is that the same as this?!”
“If you wear this, I’ll cross-dress as Yuren for you!”
“No thanks!”
Not interested in that either!
“Haa. I guess it can’t be helped.”
Iris let out a deep sigh and shook her head.
Thinking she was finally giving up, I sighed in relief.
“I’ve always granted your requests, Mr. Dale... Even when you kept increasing your number of lovers—not just one, not two, not three, but five—like a heat-struck beast, I accepted it all...”
“No, that’s...”
“I cook for you every day... help with your training... stayed by your side every day while you were hospitalized...”
“That’s not...”
“And yet... you won’t grant us even this tiny little request?”
“It’s not like that...”
“Hah... I get it. I guess we’re just fish you’ve already caught, so there’s no need to do anything nice for us anymore, right?”
“......”
Damn it.
“...Fine. I’ll wear it.”
“Kyaaa! Dale, you’re the best!”
“Hehe. I knew you’d come through for us.”
“I need to take tons of pictures!”
As my lovers came rushing toward me, cheering, I closed my eyes tightly in defeat.
Late night at the dormitory.
Camellia walked toward the cadets’ dorms with a spring in her step.
“Fufu. I’ve missed him so much.”
She’d been so busy with post-victory ceremonies and official duties that she hadn’t even been able to contact Dale in the past few days.
With a beaming, eager face, she placed her hand on his door.
Creak.
The door opened, and the scene that entered Camellia’s eyes was—
“L-Like that?”
“Kyaah! Dale, you’re so cute!”
“Pfft! AHAHAHA! I’m gonna die laughing...!”
“Haa, haa! D-Dale! That pose again, please!”
Dale, in full cross-dress, striking various poses.
“......”
Click.
Without a word, Camellia quietly closed the door.

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