[Translator - Night]
[Proofreader - Gun]
“Huff, huff.”
Oscar, bracing both hands on his knees, let out ragged breaths.
Drops of sweat falling from his face and hair dripped steadily onto the dirt ground, soaking it.
“Let’s call it a day here.”
“L-Let’s go a little... a little more.”
Oscar hurriedly lifted his head and replied.
At that, the Thoughtform stroked his beard and spoke.
“Come over here and sit for a moment.”
As he, seated on a rock, offered the spot beside him, Oscar reluctantly took a seat.
“Is there something you wish to say?”
“I simply wanted to tell you that you’re following along well. Your speed in emptying your thoughts is improving day by day, isn’t it? Your emotions are also in quite a refined state now.”
“......That alone isn’t enough.”
For the first time in a long while, it felt like he had run into a wall.
It had already been a month since he began training.
And yet, he still couldn’t even grasp the method for emptying his emotions.
“To be honest, it is a bit frustrating. You did say it would take about a year before I started, but I thought I’d be able to do it quickly.”
Entering a state of no-thought was not particularly difficult.
He had already done it countless times in his previous life.
So he assumed no-mind wouldn’t be much different...
It was a misconception born from knowing nothing at all.
“The original body divided the depth of emotions that humans can control into three stages.”
The Thoughtform continued in a calm voice.
“The easiest to control among them are the ‘intervening emotions.’ These are emotions that arise after you feel something, when consciousness intervenes. Simply put, things like irritation, annoyance, or suspicion.”
“They do sound easy to control.”
“With a single deep breath, they can be easily managed.”
These were emotions Oscar had already finished refining.
He wasn’t particularly hot-tempered to begin with, so it hadn’t been difficult.
“The next level, harder to control, is the ‘reflexive emotions.’”
Reflexive emotions.
Raw emotions that burst out before one’s consciousness can even intervene.
“Things like being startled, shrinking back in fear, or instinctive wariness fall into this category.”
For ordinary people, it is impossible to control these through training alone.
It requires perfect control over both mind and body.
“However, you managed to control even this stage after just one month of training.”
“I guess I’m just not the type to get scared easily.”
Perhaps it was because he grew up rough in the back alleys.
His temperament was rather composed.
Even when someone jumped out from behind a wall to scare him as a child, he barely reacted.
So he wasn’t particularly afraid of ghosts, nor did he feel much disgust toward insects.
“What keeps blocking you now is likely the third stage of emotion—the ‘persistent emotions’ that reside at the deepest level.”
“Persistent emotions?”
“Emotions such as lingering attachment, regret, responsibility, or a sense of duty. They rise even when you try not to think about them, and cling stubbornly even when you try to shake them off.”
He saw straight through Oscar’s condition.
“From what I’ve observed, you are feeling impatience right now. Am I wrong?”
“......I can’t deny it.”
“What exactly is making you so uneasy and restless?”
What was making him uneasy and restless?
Oscar posed the question to himself.
‘Is it because of the Great Emperor?’
Of course, it was an undeniable truth that that bastard was a problem.
From the day he met the Great Emperor at the Future Soul Research Institute, every passing minute and second felt precious.
Like someone with a time bomb strapped to the back of his neck, he felt constantly pressed and restless.
‘But that’s not the whole reason.’
Oscar slowly closed his eyes.
The threatening Great Emperor, the flowing time, the events that pressed in without giving him a moment to catch his breath—
All of them contributed to his impatience, yet each one missed the core by a little.
“.......”
His consciousness sank downward, deeper and deeper.
And what Oscar saw there was one thing.
‘So that’s it.’
What remained in the deepest part of his heart were people.
All those who had trusted and followed him until the very end.
They were all smiling brightly, yet he couldn’t even manage the faintest smile.
‘......Because I haven’t repaid them yet.’
When he saw the peaceful world after the Great Emperor disappeared, he thought his choice hadn’t been wrong.
He thought he had atoned to those left behind by restoring the fallen White Tower.
He thought he had faced his ancestors by returning lost magic and legacies to their rightful places.
That was what he believed.
No—what he had mistaken.
Because he thought everything he needed to do was finished.
‘Maybe... the reason I rushed without realizing it was because of that.’
He had received so much, yet hadn’t returned nearly enough.
Perhaps that was why he wanted to repay his debts all the more quickly.
Only then could he stop blaming himself.
‘This impatience didn’t suddenly appear.’
He had carried it ever since the day he made his choice, though it had been hidden until now.
The reason it surfaced was likely because he learned that the Great Emperor wasn’t dead.
That bastard’s existence had acted as a kind of trigger.
‘Is it something like a sense of debt?’
Perhaps it was because he had been an orphan.
He always disliked being indebted to others, and when he owed something, it felt as if a stone had been placed on his chest.
His master had softened that part of him a great deal while they lived together, but it seemed one’s nature couldn’t be completely hidden.
“Hoh.”
As he slowly opened his eyes, the Thoughtform asked,
“Have you found the reason?”
“Yes.”
“What was it?”
“A sense of debt.”
At the explanation that followed, he nodded.
“I see, that makes sense. But then let me ask you one thing. If you were to erase that Great Emperor’s soul, do you think the sense of debt you feel now would disappear cleanly?”
“......No. Somehow, I don’t think it would.”
“And why do you think that?”
After a brief silence, Oscar spoke.
“Those people didn’t follow me just to kill the Great Emperor.”
Even if he had chosen a different path, they would have still followed him.
Because they chose him as a person, not any particular choice.
“Then even if the Great Emperor’s soul is erased, where does your sense of debt come from?”
“......From my choices.”
The choices he made, and what he received as a result.
The sacrifices of his comrades, and what they entrusted to him.
And even himself, now standing atop all of it.
“Compared to what I’ve received, what I’ve given back is far too little.”
“Then what do you think you must do to completely erase that sense of debt?”
One thing was certain—erasing the Great Emperor’s soul alone would not be enough.
[Translator - Night]
[Proofreader - Gun]
That would merely be removing the immediate problem at hand.
“.......”
After thinking for a long time, Oscar cautiously opened his mouth.
“The things that were left behind.”
The things his comrades entrusted to him as they departed, the things he had to carry on.
When those things were properly settled and no longer needed him—
“When the moment comes that it’s okay even if I disappear... only then do I think I’ll be able to face them without shame.”
“That sounds like you. But it will take an enormous amount of time to reach that point. Which also means you won’t be able to use a perfected Absolute Stillness until then. You know that, don’t you?”
“I do.”
Absolute Stillness was the pinnacle of spatial magic.
He knew that whether or not he could use it would change the course of battle.
And yet, there wasn’t a trace of regret on Oscar’s face.
“Even so, I think this is the only way I’ll feel at ease.”
“Heh, very much like a mage.”
The Thoughtform quietly laughed and stroked his beard.
“As long as you can’t use perfected Absolute Stillness, you won’t even dare challenge the 44th floor.”
“Is it that difficult?”
“Even if it has lost its reason, its base level remains what it is.”
After a brief moment of thought, the Thoughtform spoke.
“We’ll need a second-best option.”
“A second-best option?”
“Indeed. If you cannot use Absolute Stillness through the proper method, shouldn’t we consider another approach? Of course, if the chances are slim or there’s no way to make it work, then we should give up cleanly when the time comes.”
From that moment on, the two of them began putting their heads together, researching a workaround—an expedient alternative.
Since entering a state of no-thought and no-mind had become impossible, they had to grasp even at such straws.
“What if we try using divine power?”
“Hmm. Divine power... divine power, you say.”
“Basically, divine energy clears the mind and improves concentration, so wouldn’t it help in some way?”
In theory, it wasn’t much different from a high-grade supplement.
“I’m not sure. Borrowing divine power would help dilute and reduce negative emotions, but it wouldn’t completely empty emotions themselves, would it? In that case, it won’t be of much help.”
Alright, then we’ll just let divine power keep playing with the Great Emperor...
Oscar introduced a new “supplement.”
“What about the energy of extreme cold?”
“Hmm. Extreme cold, extreme cold... extreme cold?”
The Thoughtform muttered in a slightly intrigued voice.
“Not bad. In fact, it’s said that extreme yin elixirs and essences such as Extreme Ice Crystals or Ten-Thousand-Year Snow Ginseng can freeze even emotions.”
“Uh... I’ve actually consumed something called an Extreme Ice Crystal.”
“Really?”
The Thoughtform’s expression immediately turned uneasy.
“But... didn’t you say you received and consumed the World Tree’s fruit from the Great Emperor?”
“That’s right.”
“And you also took the inner core of the Heavenly Silkworm?”
“It was quite a decent elixir.”
“And didn’t you say you chewed up an entire Dragon Heart not long ago?”
“It was so big my jaw hurt a bit after finishing it.”
The inner core of the Heavenly Silkworm, the World Tree’s fruit, the Dragon Heart...
These were elixirs and essences that most people would be lucky to consume even one of in a lifetime.
And yet all of them had gone into that mouth.
And it didn’t even end there—now an Extreme Ice Crystal as well?
“Why not just compile an elixir encyclopedia in your stomach at this point? If there’s more you’ve consumed, speak now.”
“There’s something the younger Oscar took before I entered this body... but I don’t know what it was.”
“Hah.”
No wonder, for a 7th-circle mage, his mana was absurdly high.
And even if one had mountains of gold, something like a Dragon Heart couldn’t be purchased at all.
“Well, that too must be your fortune. Perhaps it’s a reward from the gods to a hero of a previous life.”
“I’ve never thought of it that grandly, but I did eat a pretty balanced variety.”
“Then this makes things easier.”
The Thoughtform quickly came up with a plausible method.
“If you’ve consumed an Extreme Ice Crystal and gained the energy of extreme cold, then you should be able to freeze not only your thoughts but your emotions as well. This could produce an effect similar to the state of no-thought and no-mind required for perfected Absolute Stillness. Shall we try it?”
“H-How exactly do I do that?”
“......You’re asking me that right now?”
Oscar gave an awkward smile.
Truthfully, he had never used the energy of extreme cold for anything beyond making the wind colder.
In fact, when he used it in magic, he simply perceived it as ‘the wind feels cooler.’
“Hoo, you have a long way to go. First, try drawing up the energy.”
The moment he drew up the energy of extreme cold, his body temperature dropped.
“In that state, imagine filling your entire body with that energy.”
Filling his whole body with extreme cold.
Oscar nodded readily and expanded the energy that had been lingering in his mana circuits.
Then, as a chill that felt as though every cell would freeze spread through him—
“.......”
The world became eerily silent, as if it were a lie.
[Translator - Night]
[Proofreader - Gun]

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